Maybe you know this feeling:
The sense that parts of you have gone quiet.
That somewhere between surviving and succeeding, you misplaced your own aliveness.
Maybe you’ve been strong for too long.
Maybe you’ve silenced your longings just to fit into a life that doesn’t quite fit you.
Maybe you’ve touched moments of deep connection, but they slip through your fingers too fast.
If any part of you is whispering, “There has to be more than this…” then you are in the right place.
In-person, small-group experiences hosted by space holders we trust, for those drawn to Depth, Presence, and Creative, sometimes weird, experiments. Welcome!
The Motherhole hosts this gathering. It has three realms: Eros, Mother and Crone. This is a Mother gathering. Mother is not only care. It is authority. It is the body that
September 25 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pmThe Motherhole hosts this gathering. It has three realms: Eros, Mother and Crone. This is a Crone gathering. Crone is not decline. It is not wisdom theatre. It is not graceful
November 6 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pmThe Motherhole hosts this gathering. The Motherhole has three realms: Eros, Mother and Crone.This is an Eros gathering. Eros is not sex.It’s the charge that lives underneath language.The pull.The no...
November 20 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pmThis is sound jam + voice lab + open experimental field: A sonic portal night A three-hour immersive evening where we build a living sound field together, using drone tones,
December 18 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pmThe Motherhole hosts this gathering. It has three realms: Eros, Mother and Crone. This is a Mother gathering. Mother is not an identity you add. It is a rearrangement. Your body
January 15, 2027 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Much of what we call personality, coping, independence, or strength is often the result of early learning in the nervous system.
Ways of holding back, staying sensible, managing reactions, and making life workable, even when closeness, safety, or care were inconsistent.
They were never who You are.
They are adaptations…
The difficult one?
The loud one?
The needy one?
The selfish one?
The angry one?
The sensual one?
The one who said no?
The one who wanted more?
Competence can be beautiful.
Kindness can be real.
Independence can be deeply earned.
Being thoughtful is not secretly a wound.
Being calm is not automatically a performance.
The more intimate question is: can you still choose these qualities or are they the price of belonging?
There is a difference between kindness and being unable to disappoint anyone.
Between independence and being unable to ask.
Between composure and becoming unreachable.
Between being easygoing and having no access to your own preference until resentment arrives three hours later.
✨ The identity you’ve been performing for years. The version of you that’s “strong,” “easy,” “low-maintenance,” “nice,” “fine”… and how that mask slowly became your whole personality.
✨ Where you disappeared to keep the peace. The voice you shut down, the needs you hid, the space you gave up, and the traits you picked up because someone needed you to be that way.
✨ What happens when you stop performing and actually show up as yourself. A real, physical relief you feel in your whole body when you stop pretending and let you breathe again.
Each day brings you closer to the unedited version of you.
Not to fix anything because you don’t need fixing. You need to see what’s been holding you back.
And feel it. So you can choose what to do with it.
✨ 7 chapters, one per day, to help you name what you’ve never spoken aloud or dared to think.
✨ 28 somatic shadow work prompts, 4 per day.
✨ 7 audio-guided somatic practices, one per day via QR code.
✨ 1 audio journey guiding you to meet the part of you that knows you don’t need to perform shit for anyone.
✨ 270 pages of space to breathe, doodle, and remember.
✨ Large-format so you can write comfortably (8”x10”)
✨ Full-color, soft matte cover
✨ 270 thick pages gives you luxurious reading and writing experience
✨Large format in 20x25x2cm for steady writing
✨ Written in 15 pt font with wide margins for an easy reading experience
✨ 7 audio-guided body exercises accessed via QR code in the book hosted on a course platform
✨ 1 audio-guided journey deep into your mind to meet an aspect of yourself accessed via QR code in the book hosted on a course platform
Each day follows a rhythm that works for real life, even if you’re running on deadlines, dishes, or both.
You start by reading. Short enough to finish your coffee with, potent enough to make you pause.
Then you write. To stop scrolling your thoughts and see what’s actually in there.
Then you listen. A guided body practice you can do in bed, on the floor, or between meetings.
It’s the kind of reset that fits inside your day and changes it.
Seven days, 35–60 minutes each, to start hearing yourself again.
By the end of the week, you don’t just understand differently. You feel differently.
This is how sensuality reclaims you. Not through intensity, but through rhythm.
If I were you, I’d want a taste first.
So here’s link to more information about this journey.
And right below that, you’ll find the first audio guided body practice inside it.
This way, you know exactly what you’re stepping into.
If the audio feels good and you want to keep it, just drop your email below and I’ll send it to you right away as an mp3 file.
With love,
Camilla
Sensuality begins not in pleasure, but in presence.
In feeling what’s real and what’s not yours in your body, your heart and your mind.
That’s Not Me is the first sensual 7 day journey of the I AWAKE universes Sensual Hero’s Journey series. Start here. You can find the series in our bookstore, on Barnes and noble, Amazon and Adlibris.
Yes.
Avoidance is a nervous-system strategy, not a personality flaw.
And this journal doesn’t rip the lid off anything.
It builds capacity, gently, one day at a time, so you feel safe being yourself again.
No overwhelm.
No emotional dump.
Just space.
God, no.
This isn’t a pep talk.
It’s a reality check about how culture, religion, and upbringing quietly shape what you think is “normal.”
Then welcome to being awake.
You don’t need to torch everything. You just start noticing where you’ve been living someone else’s script.
That awareness alone changes everything.
No.
It’s designed for people who run on low battery.
Short reads.
Simple prompts.
Audio guided body practices that calms your nervous system, not overwhelms it.
It’s gentle on the body and sharp on the bullshit.
Exactly what you need.
No.
No crystals.
No manifesting.
No cosmic homework.
It’s body-first, honesty-first, science-backed work delivered like a late-night conversation with someone who refuses to bullshit you.
It helps because it doesn’t overload you.
Awareness without safety is useless.
The Soft Return gives you both:
awareness and the nervous-system grounding to hold it.
This is where things finally start to click instead of spiral.
No.
This isn’t that kind of thing.
You’re not diving into childhood wounds or reliving anything.
You’re simply taking the mask off for a minute so your nervous system can finally stop bracing.
Falling apart comes from pressure.
This is the opposite, it’s where pressure drops.
Because it’s not trying to fix you.
It’s trying to un-ghost you.
Most journals want you to analyze yourself.
This one helps you stop performing yourself.
Huge difference.
No.
You’re not poking wounds.
You’re meeting the parts of you that went quiet because you had to keep going.
There’s nothing new to “open.”
You’re just giving space to what’s already there in a way your body can actually handle.
Probably. In the best way.
It’ll make you see how much of your life has been built around invisible rules: how to behave, love, succeed, stay “enough.”
Once you see them, you can’t unsee them.
And that’s when you finally start living on your own terms.
Perfect.
Most people don’t.
That’s the whole point.
The Soft Return doesn’t force a breakthrough.
It creates the conditions for your real self to surface without having to fight for air.
You’ll recognize her the second she shows up.
It goes toward relief.
Toward honesty.
Toward being a person instead of a persona.
If you want to keep going, this is just the first step on a nine-stop Sensual Hero’s Journey. A path from survival-mode to actual self being turned On by life.
But one thing at a time.
You start here.
✨ The Call: slowing down, listening in, meeting the parts of you you’ve had to ignore to survive
✨ The Initiation: feeling more, trusting more, letting the old protections soften so you can reclaim your aliveness
✨ The Return: coming back to daily life with a deeper connection to yourself, your body, and your world
✨ Body Wisdom: Your nervous system knows the way home. We listen to it, gently, week by week.
✨ Story Wisdom: Your experiences, your emotions, your inner voices matter. We make space for all of them.
✨ Symbolic Wisdom: We use imagery, ritual, and imagination to help you access layers that talking alone can’t reach.
You don’t have to believe anything.
You don’t have to “get it right.”
This work meets you where you are.
A real path you can actually walk in a rhythm that fits real life
✨A three-semester program (about 1,5 years total)
✨The program has one live online class per week (around 3 hours long)
Every week you’ll move through:
✨A grounded teaching you can actually use
✨A somatic exercise done in small breakout groups (10 people or less)
✨A closing circle where you’re invited, but never forced, to share
You’ll be part of an small group inside a larger community held by trained, caring community managers who are here to make sure it feels safe, human, and real.
There’s also optional sharing circles and practice sessions if you want extra space to connect or deepen the exercises.
You don’t have to know how to do this.
You just have to be willing to start.
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